


waiting game

by delixate



Series: don't let me go [2]
Category: Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Ceremony, F/M, Fluff, Love, Parabatai, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:55:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7785808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delixate/pseuds/delixate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Julian and Emma. Emma and Julian. it had always just been the two of them, but now Julian had to make room for something else. </p>
<p>the parabatai bond. </p>
<p>//backstairs parabatai ceremony one-shot\\</p>
            </blockquote>





	waiting game

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this took so long!! please enjoy :)

He didn’t want this. He knew he had to, he made a promise to her, one that would be hell to break.

Getting a Parabatai was a big deal. Not everyone had one, and finding someone who was your other half before you were eighteen was a big task. Everyone had been coming up to him all day, telling him how lucky he was that he had found his at fourteen.

_I’m not lucky._

The ceremony was in a couple of hours, and although he knew he would have to get ready soon, Julian was sitting on his bed, his body tense and ridged.

_It’s just a crush. Crushes go away. It won’t be forever, but the bond will._

Julian bit down on his nail, trying to ignore the knots in his stomach.

He liked her. Of course he did. How could anyone not like her? She was his best friend, someone he knew better than himself.

If he did this, however, he couldn’t like her. He would have to make it go away somehow.

_If only there was an off switch._

But there wasn’t.

Julian thought back to when he had asked Emma to be his Parabatai. He hadn’t thought about the consequences, but now his head was full of them. He was asking the girl he had been in love with for most of his life to be his _platonic soulmate._ They were going to grow old with a magical bond tying them together for eternity. She was going to have boyfriends, meet other people. She would get married, start a family, and grow old with someone else. She would never be just his anymore. He had to learn how to share, and fast.

The door creaked open and Julian looked up fast, ready to shoo whoever it was back out the door. He let out a sigh of relief when he realised it was Emma.

“Hi,” he croaked, his voice breaking. Heat filled his cheeks as he stared at the floor, although Emma giggled. Her laugh did strange things to Julian’s stomach, and he looked up to meet her in the eyes.

“You look nice.” Her voice was soft, and Julian go up from his spot on the bed and faced her, their hands intertwining. Emma smiled at him and went to sit on his bed, gently dragging him along with her.  

“So do you.”

For a while they sat there, enjoying the warmth they gave each other. Before long Clary would be looking for them, and Julian wanted to savour these last few moments he had with Emma before everything would change.

“Are you scared?” he asked, his voice soft. Emma took a moment to answer, looking out the window then back at him.

“No,” she answered, and Julian knew she was telling the truth. “Because I know whatever happens, I’ll have you here, every step of the way.”

_That’s part of the problem, Ems._

\----

They emerged from the ceremony hand in hand, shoulders brushing. Julian looked around at the blur of faces as shadowhunter after shadowhunter congratulated them. He felt different, in control. He now had Emma’s power as well as his own. It was exhilarating, being able to _feel_ her in a way he had never been able to before.

The doubt Julian had been feeling before the ceremony was still there, although Julian made a promise to himself to never let it show. It wasn’t about him anymore. He had to take into account Emma, and what was best for her. He needed to protect the bond they had, god forbid if they broke it.

Mainly Julian promised to live with what he had done. It was his decision, however selfish it was. It was his responsibility, and now he needed to honour it.

“Jules,” said a soft voice to his left. It was Emma, her usual confidence slightly dimmed. “Want some ice cream?”

His answer was immediate. “Sure. Whenever you’re ready.”

They left, happily gushing about how they felt and what the future held. Julian tried to ignore the smile on her face, and instead thought about how much stronger he would now be in battle.

It was going to be okay. It had to be. Julian was going to make sure of it.  

**Author's Note:**

> please don't forget to kudos and comment!! :) <3


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